Learning to be loved

I am a selfish person. I realize this fact on a daily basis. Today, it dawned on me when I all of a sudden became irrationally mad at a friend. She didn't do anything wrong, I know she loves me with all of her heart. She would do anything for me. Sometimes, in my prideful, selfish way, this is not good enough. I need more, I want to be loved in a certain way. I know the ways in which I receive and give love best. I know, in my rational thinking, the way my family and friends give and receive love, so why do I seem to constantly struggle with feeling like I'm not loved enough?
In a world where every one is desperately seeking love, I need to be thankful for what I have because it overflows in every deep crevice of my being. I pray for understanding, gentleness and docility towards all the people in my life every day. I want to understand without hesitating how each person I know loves me. I want to understand how I can best love them back.
I believe that this insecurity of mine is coming to rear it's ugly head because Jesus is allowing me to see deeper into my wounded heart. Now that I am back in a place where I feel comfortable He is asking me to go deeper in prayer with him. This call to a deeper prayer life is also a call to trust him, despite the hurt and pain of revealed wounds I didn't know I had.
Writing this all out has helped ease that unnecessary sensitivity. I'm offering up prayers for my friend tonight, for her heart and for all the love she has to give.

"Love demands expression. It will not stay silent, be good, be modest, be seen and not heard, no. It will break out in tongues of praise, the high note that smashes the glass and spills the liquid." -Winterson