The Not So Ugly Truth

A few weekends ago I rented the movie "The Ugly Truth" thinking I would be entertained for maybe 2 hours with another predictable and cheesy chick flick. I was outraged by the time I was through, and now looking back, I can't believe I let myself watch the entire thing! Besides the vulgar and completely inappropriate humor and the lack of dignity brought to the human body, this movie showcased the stereotypical relationship between man and woman: men are sex machines and women are the objects set before them to fulfill their need. I was disgusted.
The movie is set around a girl named Abby who has "romantic" ideas of the perfect guy. She has a list of all the things she wants in the man she dates. Mike is a rude, grotesque man that has a show entitled "The Ugly Truth" where he states that men just want sex and nothing more. To him, there is no such thing as a relationship and love. Mike helps Abby snag her "perfect guy" by teaching her all the things guys want a girl to be. Basically, he tells her that since guys are thinking about sex all the time, women need to be open to doing anything men want to satisfy their needs. Blah, Blah, Blah..the twisted story goes on.

I swear, this movie exemplifies why society today has such a distorted view of sex, love, marriage and relationships. We have grown up to think that in- the- moment pleasure, and getting exactly what we want, when we want it is all we need to be satisfied.

Call me crazy, but I disagree. I believe men are capable of self control. I believe that a human body can be seen more than as an object. I believe sex is a beautiful thing and strengthens a marriage. "To the Christian, sex is inseparable from the person, and to reduce the person to sex is as silly as to reduce personality to lungs or a thorax." (Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen)
All humans were made with a desire to love and be loved in return. It's a basic need of ours whether we are willing to admit it or not. People are so crazed about finding this love that at times, we're willing to settle for pleasure instead of searching for that true love. Some of us have maybe even thought that this fake love is all we're ever going to get, so we better enjoy ourselves. The good news is that love-and I mean real, true love, is available to everyone. We just have to be patient to find it. This fact is what makes the virtue of chastity so beautiful. Chastity can be defined as the power to love others in the right way and it brings dignity to our bodies and our search for love. "The human body shares in the dignity of the 'image of God': it is a human body precisely because it is animated by a spiritual soul, and it is the whole human person that is intended to become, in the body of Christ, a temple of the Spirit." (CCC #364).
If we understand chastity is all about freedom; the freedom to let our reason control our desires and not the other way around, then we have a clearer understanding of our relationship with one another and the beauty of sex within marriage.

"Love is primarily in the will, not in the emotions or the glands. The will is like the voice; the emotions are like the echo. The pleasure associated with love, or what is today called "sex," is the frosting on the cake; its purpose is to make us love the cake, not ignore it. The greatest illusion of lovers is to believe that the intensity of their sexual attraction is the guarantee of the perpetuity of their love. It is because of this failure to distinguish between the glandular and spiritual--or between sex which we have in common with animals, and love which we have in common with God--that marriages are so full of deception. What some people love is not a person, but the experience of being in love. The first is irreplaceable; the second is not. As soon as the glands cease to react with their pristine force, couples who identified emotionalism and love claim they no longer love one another. If such is the case they never loved the other person in the first place; they only loved being loved, which is the highest form of egotism."

As the wonderful Fulton Sheen stated above, sex is the frosting on the cake, but lets not forget the cake!

The Apostolate of Beauty

"You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You shall be called my delight is in her for the Lord delights in you." Isaiah 62: 3-5

This week during my bible studies, I took a survey and asked 2 questions: 1. what makes women beautiful? 2. What makes you beautiful?

All the women had no problem answering the first question, but coming to the second one, I had a girl ask me if she could just leave it blank. My heart broke in pieces. A beautiful woman, made in the image and likeness of God, couldn't think of one reason why she's beautiful. I've heard it said that, where your wounds are, there also your mission lies. My passion is to show how much God loves us and how breathtakingly beautiful we all are because we are all sons and daughters of the King of Kings!

"There is such a thing as The Apostolate of Beauty Do not be ashamed to think of that!You are young, attractive, vivacious;Do you realize that when Beauty is virtuous, it is more appealing than anything else there is.You may recognize that the Lord has given me the power of words, but he has given to you this other power.And it is more powerful, really, because, as the ancient Greeks knew, everyone loves beauty.So practice it."~Fulton J Sheen

A Problem

"Many children these days know far too much too soon, and as a result they end up, in some fundamental way, not knowing-stunted and cut off from all they could be. If you are not taught that you "really" want just sex, you end up seeking much more. The peculiar way our culture tries to prevent young women from seeking more than "just sex," the way it attempts to rid us of our romantic hopes or, variously, our embarrassment and our "hang-ups" is a very misguided effort. It is, I will argue, no less than an attempt to cure womanhood itself, and in many cases it has actually put us in danger."
Wendy Shalit " A Return to Modesty: Discovering the lost virtue"

This is so true.

Rejection at it's finest

I prayed my rosary, I prayed my holy hour and I attended Mass...I was thinking I had more than enough grace to get me through the day....and I did...I was ready to take on the world...

My job allows me to experience many good and joyful things. It is always surprising, and always interesting. Yesterday I experienced another all too real side of my work - rejection. Complete and utter rejection multiple times. The hits just kept on coming! What started off as a very busy and full day almost ended without victory, or so it seemed. Obviously the Lord had something else to show me yesterday.
Every appointment, meeting and fun hang out session I had in my planner was canceled! I received text messages from girls saying they no longer could get together, so not too bruised yet I kept chugging along, making different plans with different people. Those plans got canceled too! Nothing could tempt these girls! No coffee, no $10 manicures - nada!
So I nursed my wounded ego with a good latte, said a prayer to the holy spirit and headed back to campus with renewed vigor. I must not have understood my purpose for the day because as I returned to campus I was promptly shut down again with unanswered phones and text message cancellations.

Bummer...
Let's just say by the end of the day, when even my bible study turned down my offer of ice cream I had had enough! The entire way home I yelled in the car, "what the heck! who are these people! Lord, what are you doing?! Today did NOT go the way I had planned!"

Then I realized how stupid I sounded, telling the Lord how I didn't get what I want and how things didn't go the way I had planned. It was so typical of me. I immediately shut up and thought long and hard about my day again, this time with the sense of wanting to see the Lord's goodness in all this rejection.
I was blessed to share in the rejection of our Lord. How many times does He have people say no, turn away and not think twice? Somewhere, someone was benefiting from my suffering and I learned a lesson in humility. I got to take up another piece of my cross and carry it with the Lord for the day.

Maybe the day wasn't so bad day after all...
And, lucky for me, I get to do it all over again today!